Bentonville, Arkansas
I met Jack in 2007 when I was traveling through Arkansas, visting with seniors and collecting material for what was to become my first book, "gOLD: The Extraordinary Side of Aging Revealed Through Inspiring Conversations." I found Jack's house after wandering around the Ozark Mountain woods for about an hour, finally locating the "house that Jack built" (literally). The interview was great, as Jack and I sat together on a rainy afternoon, listening to the rain as it pelted the rooftop. When the interview was over, and I was in the process of packing up the camera, microphone and cords, Jack surprised me by pulling out some of the wood carvings he had created. I will show you some photos of those items in another post. But once we started talking about all things creative, Jack jumped out of his rocking chair, left the room, and then returned with a stack of papers.
"Let's have some fun," he said, smiling. "Here are some things I've messed around with over the years."
And then he started reading to me in that deep Ozark Mountain hillbilly voice, as he rocked away in that chair. (btw - Jack was in no way offended by that "hillbilly" label. He loved it!)
Grandma's Problem
© Jack Hubbard
warn’t nuthin’ new, he’d done it before.
We was a lookin’ for him high and low
up one aisle, down the other we’d go.
Is that his ol’ bald head,
a showin’ over them loaves of bread?
Nah, that’s another ol’ man there
it ain’t Grandpa, he’s got a wisp o’ hair.
Here comes Grandma, she’s worried the most,
she tried to page him, but he’s deef as a post.
Do you think the ol’ fool’s tryin’ to hide?
I hope he ain’t wandered back outside,
he’s apt to pass out in that parkin’ lot.
The sun’s beatin’ down, Lord it’s hot!
Now, “that,” I don’t think we have to fear,
He likes to look at the ladies in here.
If Grandma catches him doin’ that,
she’ll swing her purse, knock him flat.
The ol’ man’s harmless, don’t you know?
but he loves the women, he’ll put on a show.
He shames Grandma to tears,
causes her to whop him ‘bout the head and ears.
That’s one reason why he hardly hears.
Hah! I see the ol’ feller, in his striped shirt,
he’s eyeballin’ that gal in the mini skirt.
You stand in the way of Grandma’s view,
I’ll sidle over, see what I can do.
Get him outta harm’s way.
We don’t wanta’ spoil Grandma’s day.
It’s sometimes hard to do your shoppin’,
when these ol’ folks keep you a hoppin’.
I do vow, that when I get old,
with young ladies, I won’t be bold.
That when I go to the Wal-Mart store,
my woman won’t beat my old head sore, -
fer lookin’ at the women.
