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Jack Hubbard
Age:  74
Bentonville, Arkansas








Grandma's Problem
© Jack Hubbard

Grandpa got lost in the Wal-Mart Store,
warn’t nuthin’ new, he’d done it before.
We was a lookin’ for him high and low
up one aisle, down the other we’d go.

Is that his ol’ bald head,
a showin’ over them loaves of bread?
Nah, that’s another ol’ man there  
it ain’t Grandpa, he’s got a wisp o’ hair.
Here comes Grandma, she’s worried the most,
 
she tried to page him, but he’s deef as a post.
Do you think the ol’ fool’s tryin’ to hide?
I hope he ain’t wandered back outside,
he’s apt to pass out in that parkin’ lot.
The sun’s beatin’ down, Lord it’s hot!

Now, “that,” I don’t think we have to fear,
He likes to look at the ladies in here.
If Grandma catches him doin’ that,
she’ll swing her purse, knock him flat.
The ol’ man’s harmless, don’t you know?  
but he loves the women, he’ll put on a show.
He shames Grandma to tears,

causes her to whop him ‘bout the head and ears.  
That’s one reason why he hardly hears.
Hah! I see the ol’ feller, in his striped shirt,
he’s eyeballin’ that gal in the mini skirt.  
You stand in the way of Grandma’s view,
I’ll sidle over, see what I can do.
Get him outta harm’s way.
 
We don’t wanta’ spoil Grandma’s day.
It’s sometimes hard to do your shoppin’,
when these ol’ folks keep you a hoppin’.
I do vow, that when I get old,
with young ladies, I won’t be bold.
That when I go to the Wal-Mart store,
my woman won’t beat my old head sore, -
fer lookin’ at the women.